A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true!
I have so many dreams for my kids, but I want them to have their own. Tonight I'm thinking about the dreams I have for myself. A lot of them are things we all wish for, like watching my children grow up with my husband by my side, owning a house with a yard and maybe even a pool, feeling accomplished and independant.
There are dreams that you can MAKE happen though, and the one that has been with me since I was old enough to dream is to write a book! A story that I'm proud enough of to submit it for publishing. It doesn't ever have to become a published book, but I want that self satisfaction of knowing I set out to finish a story, and sent it off into the world for judgement.
When I write a story, I put so much emotion into it, so many real feelings into my characters, that I start to feel vulnerable sharing it. That's what I've always loved about reading though, feeling like you're a part of the character, placing yourself in their shoes and living vicariously through them. I live a love story, a real breathing, working, love story. I want to write one, one that moves people somewhere close to the degree that I feel. I know that there are a lot of good love stories out there, The Notebook, The Rescue, A Knight in Shining Armor, Romeo & Juliet, Pride & Prejudice... (to name a few of my personal favorites.) I don't expect to be the next Nicholas Sparks, but I don't want to write some boring cliched novel either. I want fireworks, and that is going to take sweat, tears, and true emotion.
I'm setting goals this year to achieve these dreams, but goals are only half of the battle.
The other half is execution. I tend to have a bit of a problem with this part, I let doubt creep in, or I just get busy with the daily things in life and put the dream on the back burner. These are really just excuses, and I need to start recognizing them as such if I ever want to get anywhere. I want to live a life I'm proud of, and I want my children to achieve the dreams that they set out to accomplish, so it's time to get serious. I'm going to work on finding myself while Josh is away, something that will fight off the loneliness, sadness, and fear, and hopefully something that will turn into accomplishing that dream I've held on to for so long.
Speaking of dreams, my two year old hasn't had a nap today, so it's time for me to get him some dinner and send him to bed. Until next time, consider yourself Nicked.