At some point in life we get this idea in our heads that we have to feel a certain way. We suddenly think we have control over our feelings because we simply choose to hide or ignore them. We don't want to appear weak, or foolish, or childish. I ask you though, what's wrong with looking at things like a child every once in a while?
I have a little boy, his name is Lincoln and he is about to turn three years old. He's loud, and he's messy, and he rarely can make up his mind. He'd rather be barefoot and get attacked by ants than let anyone slow him down long enough to get shoes and socks on him. If he likes you, you're immediately a part of the family, he's decided every man he loves is his uncle/papa. In a room full of children, he stops to say hello to every adult before he goes to play. He's more aware of his surroundings than most of us, I think it's because he lives in the moment. He doesn't care if his cell phone is ringing, if there are bills to pay, or if anyone is judging him while he's dancing, as long as he's surrounded by the people he loves.
I'm not saying that you should neglect your bills, nor am I saying you should be irresponsible, but would it hurt any of us to be a little more carefree? Are we really going to die if we're seen in our pajamas? Can we just be nice to one another without judgement, without wondering what we're going to get out of it? If someone thinks our happiness makes us look stupid, does it really matter? Why do we let people stop us from being who we are to the full extent? Lincoln doesn't, and it makes me really sad that one morning he's going to wake up and it will all have changed. Someone will say something to hurt him, and it will do the damage. All I can do is raise him to love himself, to be true to himself, and to know that he is loved unconditionally by those who really matter.
I've been really watching my babies this weekend, with my Mom in town they've been really animated. They don't have to be at Chuck'e'Cheese, they don't even need a toy, just sitting on the couch giggling with Mom, Dad, and Memaw makes them deliriously happy. I feel like I should take more time to just BE with my family. Josh and I should shut off our phones, turn off the computer, forget the TV, and just play. I want to get out the video camera and record it so that when Josh and I are old we can watch the videos and relive the memories. Hear all those sweet giggles that for now come so easily. These moments with our kids are going to pass by too quickly, and I don't want to just say I made the most of our time, I want to truly believe it.
With that said, my mom is only here for a week, and I don't know when I'll be seeing her again, so I'm not going to post again until Saturday night. This is what's important, this is living life.
Until next Saturday, consider yourself Nicked.